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[25 Jul 2006|01:30pm] |
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So i have neglected my journal for very long time. And i believe that i should start ledgering my life again.. due to the fact it is a good habit to do.
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| 16 years into my past |
[14 Dec 2005|08:44pm] |
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 accomplished |
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FILTER AND CRYSTAL METHOD-TRIP LIKE I DO |
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Today i searched and rumaged through 16 years of my life.. I cleaned my attic. I had put my childhood possessions up there along time ago. just about every toy from age 2 till when i stopped playing with toys. I threw out just about everthing except my stuffed animals barbies grade school work n art journals, diarys, and my ironing board that ive had since about 1-2 years old.I have alot of room up there now.. IM going to stick all my other memorable stuff up there that i have in my closest now so that i can keep them safe and what not. I t was quite interesting and brought tears to m eyes for my childhood had flashed in my memorie again. I could smell and feel everything. soft scents and just a comfortable secure carefree feeling. It had most deffinately cleared my mind of everything else that had been on it.
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| Saturday.. |
[11 Dec 2005|12:57am] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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music |
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bjork black coffe |
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Was awoken early today due to my dad walking into my room and being all enthusiastically excited about getting a Christmas tree that he just had to wake me up with this silly little kid looking smile. It was quite an annoying way to awake from my slumber, but i guess i didnt mind at all cause it was quite amusing. So i as usual, stumbled out of bed, still half unconcious in a sleep, and shuffled my way to the kitchen for a nice steamy cup of coffe with creme and 3 spoons of sugar. Linda had stayed the night (dads gf) and her and i had discussed where we had planned on going for a Christmas tree. Afer that,it was time to get ready to go on this every end year trip of hunting for the perfect christmas tree to end the year with. I did my daily routine of straighting my hair and getting dressed and all the what not. We all headed out the door and then drove of to Andreas Garden for some breakfast.. I had french toast.Like usual. After we had finished, we all headed out for Candy Cane Tree farm, with real reindeer there. After drving a damn half hour or so looking for this tree farm, we finally arrive. The Candy Cane tree farm looked pretty, but... I wasnt digging the trees.. THEY WERE ALL SHORTER THEN ME!!and dont forget Im 5'3 1/2. And ill tell ya.. that would be a short ass tree! So wedrove and trudged through cold ass 3 feet snow for nothing.. And the reindeer??? WHERE THE FUCK WERE THEY!!!??!? there wasnt any, and when we asked, the tree farm people were like.."oh? reindeer? OH YEAH! they arnt in there stalls..THey are in the fenced in area way down the way.. i dont think you want to see them, there is lots of weeds and yea...lots of weeds." He could have just told us that he knew his treee farm sucked and that he was just using the reindeer to attract customers cause he totally sucks and so does his trees. So we drove off looking for more tree farms. We head up the road and hit the town liqoure store. I was hungry again and bought a sub and a bottle of Fiji water. Yum. We drove off down the dirt road after leaving the store, then seen these awesome hand crafted carved wooden statues. So we stopped. And ill tell you these fuckers were EXPENSIVE!! for a 3 foot eagle..okaymaybe four, it was 2,000!!! yea.. thats as much as my cars gunna cost. So we got outta there..So yea.. we ended all the way from lake orion area all the way north of lapeer or something.. found a private tree farm, no luck there...just froze my boobs off, cause the upper button on my jacket broke, cause my boobs broke it. Then we like drove all around somewhere looking to get where we usally go every damn year for a christmas tree..blakesorchird in armada.... soon as we arrived we were gone in like 15 minutes maybe 20.. we had found our treee and hulled ass home.. fuck the cold. ON the way homefrom the drive... I kept calling kyles cell under ablocked number so he wouldnt know it was me..and im soo cool like that he would have never guessed until he started getting pissed and i started laughing.. then i took a stip of my FIji water and he slapped hte bottle up into my face and i spit and spilled it alll over me.lol it waspretty funny though..and we kept screwing around allt he way home.. Havent laughed that hard in along time! Came home decorated the tree and moved all the big ass damn furnitue in the front room..And yea.. then deocrated the tree.. Took a shower.. talked to eric and yea here i am now laying in bed. Sitting heere thinking of some things and having tears run off mycheaks..
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| Its been A while.. |
[09 Dec 2005|10:27pm] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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billy corgan |
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Indeed it had been awhile since ive wrote in my livejournal..I have totally negelected it..I have not wrtote in here since before homecomming which had long gone passed about 3 1/2 months..Homecomming 2005.. fuck it. myhopes of a perfect night was just a fucking dumb mistake..Last couple of months have been totally different for me.. REALLY..im veiwing life from a very different prespective..my veiws and everything. i dont see things how i once did.. i feel very different about everything. How i think of people and things in my life is totally different..I trust less. I hardly talk to the f=people who once were my friends.. they were never reallymy friends... They say they have changed for the better.. If you change, you never really were real to begin with..Ive met new people that have comeinto my life and left quickly..Some didnt leave footprints on my heart when others did..:-/ Some of the people i met have left huge impacts on my life and others..ugh.. dont even want to go there..Wish i have never met those people..This year.. i seem to be more flustered,paranoid, nervous,or angry... Ill occasionally come to a cross road where i feel like i am incredibly happy but i truly am not... and i wont even know it..my life is lacking something..or maybe someone?i tend to feel more alone now days..Dont really have anyone that i can quite open up too.
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[21 Oct 2005|08:44pm] |
[Intro - Lil' Jon]
Usher...
Lil' Jon...
Ludacris...
[Usher {with Lil' Jon}]
Yeah, man
Once again, it's on {It's on}
You know we had to do it again, right?
[Lil' Jon]
We had to do it again,
Want you to sing to these ladies, man
[Usher (with vocalizing)]
(Ohh-oh-oh-ohh)
A'ight, so I'm up first? A'ight, lemme have it...
(Ohh-oh-oh-ohh)
Let's do it...
[1st Verse - Usher]
Baby, how ya doin'?
Hope that 'cha fine, wanna know what you got in mind tonight,
Got me feenin' like Jodeci, girl, I can't leave you alone,
Take a shot of this here Patron' and it's gon' be on,
V.I.P. done got way too crowded,
I'm about to end up callin' it a night,
You should holla at 'cha girl, tell her you shakin' the scene,
Pull off, beep-beep, shotgun in a GT with me
She said, "Ohhh-ohhh, I'm ready to ride, yeah,"
"'Cause once you get inside, you can't change your mind,"
"Don't mean to sound impatient, but you gotta promise, baby, ohh..."
[Chorus - Usher]
Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, I gotta know, baby, aw yeah)
Tell me again (Make sho' your right, ohh, before we leave),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, oh it's a good look, baby)...
[2nd Verse - Ludacris]
Look here!!!
Sometime I wanna be your lover,
Sometime I wanna be your friend,
Sometime I wanna hug ya,
Hold hands, slow-dance while the record spins,
Opened up your heart 'cause you said I made you feel so comfortable,
Used to play back then, now you all grown-up like Rudy Huxtable,
I could be your bud, you could beat me up,
Play-fight in the dark, then we both make love,
I'd do anything just to feel your butt,
Why you got me so messed up?
I don't know, but you gotta stop trippin',
Be a good girl now, turn around, and get these whippings,
You know you like it like that,
You don't have to fight back,
Here's a pillow - bite...that,
And I'll be settin' seperate plays,
So on all these separate days,
Your legs can go they separate...ways...
[Chorus - Usher]
Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, it's a good look, baby)
Tell me again (Tell me over-and-over-and-over again),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Make sho' you right, before you choose)...
[3rd Verse - Lil' Jon]
I's been know you fo' a long time (shorty'),
But fuckin' never crossed my mind (shorty'),
But tonight, I seen sumthin' in ya (shorty),
That made me wanna get wit 'cha (shorta'),
but You ain't been nuttin' but a friend to me (shorty'),
And a nigga never ever dreamed to be (shorty'),
Up in here, kissin', huggin', squeezin', touchin' (shorty'),
Up in the bathtub, rub-a-dubbin' (shorty'),
Are you sure you wanna go this route? (shorty'),
Let a nigga know before I pull it out (shorty'),
I would never ever cross the line (shorty'),
Shorta'let me hear you tell me one mo' time...one mo' time...
[Chorus - Usher]
Tell me again (Tell me again, my baby),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Ohh, it's a good look, baby)
Tell me again (Make sho' you right, ohh, before we leave),
That we'll be Lovers and Friends (Tell me over-and-over-and-over again)...
[Outro - Usher]
ah-ah-hoo
ah-ah-hooo
ah-ah-hoo-ohhhh-yeah yeah yeaaah...
[Ludacris {with Lil' Jon}]
Please tell your Lovers and Friends,
That Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again {Hey!! (Hey!!)}
Uh, please tell your Lovers and Friends,
That Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again, that's right {Hey!! (Hey!!)}yeah
Please tell your Lovers and Friends,
That Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again {Hey!! (Hey!!)}...
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[14 Sep 2005|10:28pm] |
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depressed |
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89x |
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Ive heard these songs before
The melody is plain and clear
Its nothing new
It was something i once had in my life..
Like you
Andi cant tell you
Just how I feel
Cause you cant listen to my words that i am singing to you
I only am able to listen to your recording
On the same repeated play.
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[11 Sep 2005|08:17pm] |
New Orleans Doctors: "We Had To Kill Our Patients"
News Edition: 09/12/2005
Doctors working in hurricane-ravaged New Orleans killed critically ill patients rather than leaving them to die in agony as they evacuated hospitals, The Mail on Sunday can reveal.
With gangs of rapists and looters rampaging through wards in the flooded city, senior doctors took the harrowing decision to give massive overdoses of morphine to those they believed could not make it out alive.
In an extraordinary interview with The Mail on Sunday, one New Orleans doctor told how she 'prayed for God to have mercy on her soul' after she ignored every tenet of medical ethics and ended the lives of patients she had earlier fought to save.
Her heart-rending account has been corroborated by a hospital orderly and by local government officials. One emergency official, William 'Forest' McQueen, said: "Those who had no chance of making it were given a lot of morphine and lain down in a dark place to die."
Euthanasia is illegal in Louisiana, and The Mail on Sunday is protecting the identities of the medical staff concerned to prevent them being made scapegoats for the events of last week.
Their families believe their confessions are an indictment of the appalling failure of American authorities to help those in desperate need after Hurricane Katrina flooded the city, claiming thousands of lives and making 500,000 homeless.
'These people were going to die anyway'
The doctor said: "I didn't know if I was doing the right thing. But I did not have time. I had to make snap decisions, under the most appalling circumstances, and I did what I thought was right.
"I injected morphine into those patients who were dying and in agony. If the first dose was not enough, I gave a double dose. And at night I prayed to God to have mercy on my soul."
The doctor, who finally fled her hospital late last week in fear of being murdered by the armed looters, said: "This was not murder, this was compassion. They would have been dead within hours, if not days. We did not put people down. What we did was give comfort to the end.
"I had cancer patients who were in agony. In some cases the drugs may have speeded up the death process.
"We divided patients into three categories: those who were traumatised but medically fit enough to survive, those who needed urgent care, and the dying.
"People would find it impossible to understand the situation. I had to make life-or-death decisions in a split second.
"It came down to giving people the basic human right to die with dignity.
"There were patients with Do Not Resuscitate signs. Under normal circumstances, some could have lasted several days. But when the power went out, we had nothing.
"Some of the very sick became distressed. We tried to make them as comfortable as possible.
"The pharmacy was under lockdown because gangs of armed looters were roaming around looking for their fix. You have to understand these people were going to die anyway."
Mr McQueen, a utility manager for the town of Abita Springs, half an hour north of New Orleans, told relatives that patients had been 'put down', saying: "They injected them, but nurses stayed with them until they died."
Mr McQueen has been working closely with emergency teams and added: "They had to make unbearable decisions."
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[10 Sep 2005|11:05pm] |
Partied with my homegirls..ALICIA KELLY, RACHELLE WROBLE, KAYLA STEENLAND,and wess. THen we a ll rolled off to nicoles with mywater bottle of applesauce..(the shit) lol and it was a trip fromthere!
StaUrday was a mom n carly day thenanightof psycho partieing with my other home girls..sara liz ashlee and stephanie! hell ya
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| Bye Stormie..my lil puppy |
[06 Sep 2005|02:58pm] |
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blazie it. BTnH |
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Well the last gift my parents bought together before my mom leftmy dad 2 months later.. is now gone outta my life.:( My dear stormie is no longer with me..1995-2004
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[05 Sep 2005|03:35pm] |
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mood |
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 fallin in love |
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music |
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Bobby valentino/lil wayne-tellmme |
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Im fallin for you more and more babe.
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| TO the DUMB BITCHES and DICK heads it may CONCERN..and to those who are just decent people. |
[30 Aug 2005|10:44pm] |
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The Spill Canvas- black dresses |
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In this entry, I will be ledgering my thoughts explicitly, due to the facts that some things need to be said. But I will caution my words so that they are not TOO insulting to my viewers. Well, I’d like to start off some of you that might be reading.. You people that were my “so called” friends.. ARE NOT my friends. Thanks for showing me your other face.. If you have a two faced head.. Your not even human.. Because the actual human being (the one that is decent) has one face.. WHICH YOU DO NOT HAVE! I’d like you to take the time and unstitch that pitiful face off. Become a real person, not some counterfeit personality. You know who you are. And you are the person that makes me violently belligerent inside. Seriously, it’s sickening how fake you are. You ever taste food that is nothing but processed and made of all unnatural ingredients? Yea disgusting isn’t it? It may look wonderful and tasty on the outside, but on the inside its disgusting, flaccid and gross…Just like you and your pitiful soul. To add to this, I am sick of most of the bitches at school and around this community (yes I am referring to the female gender) Seriously, you bitches need to grow up, stop the drama, stop the gossip, AND GET A FUCKING LIFE! I’ve come to find, MOST of you are backstabbing bitches. The second you find the damn chance to stab a steak into the back of someone.. You fucking do it. You bitches spend enough time looking in the mirror at your pretty painted face, But do you bitches ever take the painted mask off and look in the mirror? to see who you really are? That ugly inner side you tend to hide purposely. Because your nothing but a two-faced bitch. And to the Dick-heads out there. Stop lying to your girl-friends. It makes me physically sick. You not only lie to your girlfriend.. your also lying to the chick your cheating on your girl friend with . Its simply pathetic on numerous levels and in many numbers of reasons. Also you dick-heads stop being so fucking rude and taking an advantages of the girls that are in love with you. Don’t fucking Say you love them then fuck them and then stop talking to them the next day. It hurts.. Like getting you dick crushed with a 1,000 lb. Weight. Broken hearts take forever to mend.. I’ve learned recently who my real friends are, who the bitches are, who the good guys are, and who the dickheads are. Thanks bitches and dicks for showing your true colors.. It actually helps me a lot. It eliminates me from many chances of getting used, backstabbed, lied to and all the other. This is the truth.. Deal with it you dumb bitches and you fucking dickheads.
All my Thoughts and words spoken clearly to you,
-Carly
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[28 Aug 2005|06:21pm] |
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i am the automatic assult DILF hunter 25000
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| One of those guys in a Million |
[24 Aug 2005|08:09pm] |
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Bow wow..like you |
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Yea, Hes one of those guys that you could escape across the country with. And every minute more of it, your falling inlove with him..hes that kind of guy that your willing to sit under that deep sapphire blue sky at night under the the diamonds that just shimmer.And it didnt evenmatter if that feild you were laying in, was infested with mosquitos. because everyone of those damn mosquito bites remind you of him and that romantic special moment when you go to scratch them..hes one of those guys that makes you feel soo sensitive and secure in his arms. And when your holding him close and you can just hear his heart beating and him breathing..its enough to make you melt...Yea hes one of those guys that you cant find one in a million...but one in a Trillion. Hes that guy that you want your dad to walk you down that red carpet, to be united with him forever...
hes one of those...
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| Good bye summer |
[23 Aug 2005|06:52pm] |
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letme hold you.. lil rob |
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My summer was totally awesome. and now its allgone...Heres TO summer!!!!
GOOD BYE SUMMER HELLO FALL!!!
many memories this summer
allthe peoplei chilled with--thanks for a great time!
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[22 Aug 2005|05:06pm] |
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music |
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The cure...song 10 |
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I have a friend..who feels that noone cares about her... but hell thats not true...I do.. I care for her soo much.. I know sometimes i dont show it.. But trust me..I love that person. I know this past year we have not been as close as we were in our year, which we tripped upon sorrow, where the kiss of tretchery was a somewhat relief to a sad happieness. The feeling we felt was like a high...Its a feeling you cant get anywhere else or from anyone..Its a special bond..and nothing can replace it...or take it away.. as though sometimes it seems like that.. I want my friend..the friend i share a special bond with...(and you know who you are, because you'd understand what im saying) to know that.. i love them with my entire sole. AND NOTHING... i mean nothing will take that speical bonf away. I miss laying head to head next to each other on the floor...starring up at the light fixture on the ceiling..tears melting down our checks, just passing thoughts and words throuugh our minds to each other, and picturing the world and how disgusting it is, and how everything once was alive and well,is now sick and dieing...
I Love my Friend... B.A.Y
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[22 Aug 2005|09:29am] |
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music |
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311 dont tread on me |
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1st SEMESTER
weight trainning--yea 3rd semester of it
APP ALG - Klayo
BEG SWIM - Sabo
PHYS SCIENCE - Jennings:) ROCKS ASS
ENGLISH II - Caramangno
AM HIST - Rohloff
2nd SEMESTER
AM HIST - olds
APP ALG 1- Klayo
PHYS SCIENCE - Zryd....yeah i got the new teacher..
ENGLISH II - Aulwes
DRAMA - Ponichter
HEALTH - Sabo
HOMEROOM - Miley :)
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[21 Aug 2005|01:00pm] |
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mood |
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good bye summer |
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music |
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the cure |
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Here it is..the end of our summer 2005, where nights slipped into the morning still riding in the car comming home at 5:30a.m. from the most hit party of the summer... your desiginated driver one of your closets friends rolling the window down for you cause you drank a little too much of the grey goose. Crashing out at your friends house everyday of the week, eating mc donolds for breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon.. Cruising Gratiot till 2 a.m. with the windows rolled down.. your 5% tint and those damn rims jsut sparkling under the moon light.. That system with the 2 12's and the kickers in the back just fucking raliling the gas station windows. Spending hours laying in the sun to get that killer tan. Yea. this is summer. And its all done now.. WEre hitting the end of 2005. A new school year..more drama. New people..a new scene. Fawk..i made the most of my summer.. imugnna make the most of my sophmore year. Having fucking fun all the time.. but staying on top of my studies.Thats what it is all about. But im gunna miss those summer nights...damn...that warm air.... those thunderstorms..
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[17 Aug 2005|04:15am] |
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[15 Aug 2005|02:57pm] |
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it takes one person to make you feel ugly.
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